“Welcome, welcome! My name is Jerry Springer and we have some really interesting guests for you today.” Said Jerry as he stood in front of an audience with such a concentrated amount of white trash it wasn’t even funny.  The audience cheered and then Jerry began to speak again “Our first guest is a man… uh… person… uh… dragon? Named Ridley. He has come here to reveal a secret to one of his old enemies that he has known for the last 5 years. Please welcome Ridley!” “BOO! BOOOO!” Yells the audience. Ridley gets mad and yells, “Shut up! Shut up! You don’t know me!” Ridley whips his tail around, decapitating an audience member and impaling another. He lifts up the audience member that he impaled swings him around, and throws him against the back wall. The audience member sticks and slides down the wall leaving a red streak of blood and letting out a squeaking sound like when you slide your hand down a glass door. Ridley sits down and mutters “&#$@ man…” Jerry says to Ridley “So I hear that you’ve come to the show today to reveal something to one of your old enemies.” Ridley replies “Yeah man. I want to tell this Samus person something that I’ve been needin’ to tell’em for awhile.” “Ok, let’s bring Samus out. Please welcome Samus!” “BOO! BOOO!” Yells the audience again. Why does this audience boo everyone? Samus walks on stage in her full suit of armor, sits down, and curses out the audience. But all the audience heard was “Humph umph mumbf dumbf fumbf!” Mainly because Samus has her helmet on. Jerry says “Samus, would you please remove your helmet?” Samus takes off her helmet sets it next to her and the audience gasps. “She’s a cross-dresser!” Yells a fat man with a southern accent. Samus quickly disposes of him and half of the 4th and 5th row with a missile. “Now Samus.” Jerry says, “We have brought you here today because Ridley here wants to tell you something. Right Ridley?” “Yeah Jerry.” Ridley turns to Samus “Samus umm… I have something to tell…” Jerry interrupts “Hold on, before we do anything else, lets bring out another guest. Please welcome… Kraid!” The audience boos Kraid. What did you expect? Kraid walks out and sits down on one of the chairs but breaks it, due to his large amount of “junk in the trunk” Samus looks confused at why Kraid and Ridley are here on the ‘Jerry Springer Show’ to tell her a secret. Jerry says to Ridley, “Ok, now that we’re set up Ridley, you can tell Samus what you wanted to tell her.” Ridley starts to talk again  “Ok Samus. This is what I wanted to tell you. You never really knew your parents right?” Samus looks worried and says “N…no” Ridley finishes “Well, I’m… your father.” “Aww! Oooh!” Goes the audience. Samus is speechless for a second. Samus leaps at Ridley and begins to punch him in his dragon-like snout. Ridley returns the punches into Samus’s Power Suit. Eventually the security guards with the black t-shirts come in and break up the fight. “Please stop fighting everyone. You’re scaring me…” Says Kraid who puts his face in his hands and begins to cry. The fight is broken up but the two foes continue to lash out at each other. “You’ve kept this from me for 26 years? &%#@ you! What else are you hiding from me? That Kraid is my brother or something? THAT’S WHY HE’S ON HERE ISN’T HE!?” Yells Samus after she tries to spit at Ridley. Ridley responds “Kraid isn’t your brother, Kraid’s your mother!” The audience gasps. “WHAT THE %$#&! I thought Kraid was a guy!” Says Samus. “He used to be!” Replies Ridley. The audience gasps again. “What do you mean that he used to be a guy!?” asks Samus “Hey, It’s the year 20X5. Anything can happen.” Ridley replies. “Then after some heavy drinking, we got you.” “WHAT!?” yells Samus. “Hold on everyone. We’ve got some questions in the audience.” Jerry walks over to a woman and puts the microphone up to her. “Yeah Jerry. I have something to say to the blonde over there. You shouldn’t hate your parents. You should get to know them better and be grateful that they had you cause if they didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.” The audience cheers “And Parents, you guys should of taken better care of your kids!” The audience gets excited and backs the woman up. Ridley stands and is about to nuke the audience but Kraid holds him back with her long arms. Another audience member stands up and yells, “I got somethin’ to say to the fat green one over there. Hey! How ‘bout you lose some weight and get a job!” Kraid replies, “I’ve got a Phazon condition!” “Ok, ok, that’s all the time we have today.  I’d like to thank my guests Samus, Ridley, and Kraid. Bye!” The audience applauds and the cameras follow the three guests into the backstage. The scene shows Samus and Ridley arguing in one of the back rooms and Kraid crying in one of the corners. ”How could you go for this long and not tell me about this!” Says Samus. Ridley replies. “Hey, I’m a heavy drinker and I forget sometimes! And don’t blame your mother over there. A lot of times, I have to remind her what her name is.” Jerry walks in and puts his arms around Samus and Ridley’s shoulders. He begins to talk in a soft voice “Hey guys. I think you two should really work this thing out. I don’t say this to everyone if you haven’t noticed already. If you want, I could get you on the Dr. Phil show.” Dr. Phil he says? Where could this lead to?